R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I wanted to share one of the proudest reasons I am glad I am Korean. Although not being raised in Korea or as a 'Korean' growing up, the more I have become involved in learning about my heritage and culture, as well as working with many Koreans throughout my meeting planning days, I have come to know and respect their... well, RESPECT culture. I stand firm on the idea that the way Koreans are raised (even though it has loosened up a bit in more modern times) are the best ways to be raised in the matter of treating other people, especially elders. Here is a breakdown of Korean RESPECT culture:

1. BOWING | Often this can be parodied in movies or skits with the never ending bows. The bows are just the way in Korea they greet each other, think a wave or a handshake in America. They have moved on to more handshakes I have seen, but bowing is still the main way to show greetings and respect. When you deeply respect a person or greet and elder or anyone who is in a higher position than you, you would bow all the way, 90 degree angle. Most often, I see just a slight head bow, or slightly more with the shoulders. All the way to the floor bow (sebae) is often saved for great RESPECT such as honoring your ancestors or weddings or traditions. I personally love this action for showing signs of respect and greetings. It can portray more effectively if your grateful to someone, or if you truly value that person, more than a simple handshake can do.

2. LANGUAGE | Koreans have a certain way you can address and speak to people, depending upon their age and/or position. The picture above just depicts an example of how you would address your peers if they were older or younger than you. Believe me, it is a bit confusing at first! I would call a female friend Unnie (FYI - these are English spellings of Korean words... just to make it simpler than typing 언니) if she was OLDER than me, and she could just address me how she wants to... and a male friend, I would call Oppa. BUT, all changes if you are male! If you are male, you would call an older female acquaintence Nuna and Hyung for older male. But there is more confusion! There is also Sunbae - that is also for people who are older than you, and you don't know them as well and doesn't matter if they are male or female or if you are male or female to use. BUT THEN THERE IS MORE! There is Ajusshi and Ahjumma, you use this for an older male and female (middle aged)... see! It can definitely get confusing; let alone, for words in general, you should speak differently to people you don't know or anyone that is older and in higher position than you. Most of the words have different endings and depending on your status, you would use different endings to address various levels of people depending upon their age or rank.

3. And just many more things! A big one is you should always pour for the other person, if you notice their glass is empty. If your glass is empty and someone has poured you a drink, it is common to turn away and not look at them while you drink. Also, accept drinks or really anything with both hands, as a sign of respect. Another one I noticed during my line of work, no one would walk in front of the highest ranked person. It was sometimes funny to see a dozen Korean men follow the head Korean leader (a Vice President, Executive Director...anyone that is the highest ranking). Also, on the subway systems... you MUST move for an elder! My husband and I got shooed out of our seat by an older woman (they are not afraid!).

There is so many other small nuances and things to list that Koreans do out of their RESPECT culture. It may seem a bit too much to some, but I truly feel that it raises children to be mindful and respectful at an early age, and practicing these later in life also makes for a good person. I am still waiting on any updates from Korea Social Services, Inc. The paperwork has been signed and sent for them to find any of my biological family that is left, and to see if they are ok with me wanting to meet them. I am hoping and praying to find out anything more on my life in Korea and anyone that I could still be related too! Until next time,

With Love, Jessica 은주

As I Wait ... with a Sheet Mask on my Face

The Korea Social Services, Inc. informed me it may take up to 3-6 months for any leads from police or even from the government, to pass the red tape. (Big SIGH). Although, it would be foolish of me to think that any of this process would be quick or easy... so, I am going to occupy my time! What is a fun, light-hearted topic we can discuss? How about a trending topic right now: K Beauty! (Korean Beauty).

Korean process of skin care is quite impressive. There are many that would say Korea is the most forward thinking of skin beauty, and has the best products out on the market today (remember, this is all opinion based - I will post articles from my research below!) I do know that since using Korean products and having a daily and nightly regimen, my skin has become softer, smoother, more even skin tone, and overall (in my opinion) healthier! In Korea, skin care is important for both men and women. Fair skin complexion is highly viewed as beautiful; a tan skin complexion often is viewed as 'poor' due to historically, field workers would be very tan and wealthy Koreans would be indoors so light-skinned. Ironic that in America, tan skin usually means opposite - that you are wealthy enough to lay out and tan, or go to tanner, or be on beaches, etc... What is my opinion being American, and Korean? For me, healthy skin is the best skin... and tanning can lead to damaging your skin (as research also shows). I do feel that tanning also ages your skin. I have seen many who take tanning to the extreme, and now their skin has become more leathery looking. Although, a nice 'glow' tan once in a while looks absolutely gorgeous!

I am going to list my regimen below, both daily and nightly (at night it is more intense, in the morning, I just do steps three & four usually). It may seem like a lot (which it is!) but it only takes about 15 minutes, all said and done. All these proucts, you can easily find off Amazon!

Step One & Two | Cleansing Oil and Foam Cleanser - I use THEFACESHOP Rice Water products. You can use the foam cleanser with just your hands, or get a Clarisonic Electric Face Washer, or the newest Korean wave is 'Po Bling' (I can go further into this if requested, or you can research, just GOOGLE Po Bling Korea)

If you wear a lot of makeup, I would recommend using this as your cleansing oil | Banila Co. Clean It Zero. This appears as a white gel substance, but put it directly on your face and it melts in seconds. Rub it around with your hands and you will be amazed to see your makeup coming right off!

Step Three & Four | Toner & Moisturizer - I use Laneige products (Target is now carrying Laneige products, but mainly online) and Garnier (found at any drugstore!) I actually LOVE the Garnier brightening moisturizer. I sometimes use 2 coats too, if I have been outside for awhile. Also if you notice, I use products that have SPF built in, including my makeup. This way, your skin is protected as much as possible. When you use a cotton swab for the toner and see makeup residue (there shouldn't be any, but if you do) then repeat steps 1 & 2.

I also use this often as well, and then follow it with my Garnier moisturizer (double the moisturizer!)

Step Five | A few drops of serum or oil for the night. I like Skin Logic Argan Oil (just a few drops on your fingertips and pat all over your face). Finally, you are done!

Did I say you were done? Okay, here are a few other things I do (but not every night). I add in exfoliating about twice a week (you can do this in the morning, or after Steps 1&2 at night). I also use a sheet mask in lieu of moisturizer and oil at night (once every two weeks). I like Cure from Japan (amazing removal of dead skin) and SkinFood Black Sugar Scrub (helps to remove blackheads). I know, I know! A lot of products, a lot of steps... very intense. But once you have your daily and nightly routine down, it will be like second nature and almost like your mini-spa time. My face has been feeling much more youthful and soft. My makeup also goes on better (in my opinion), like having a smooth canvas to work upon. I hope this was an interesting read (see articles below, more on KBeauty Trends)... and I feel that I may have missed some things, but feel free to leave comments or message me if you have any questions! You can follow my Instagram @jesseunjoo if you want to see more products I use, because I often post my newest shipments from Korea there! Until next time!

KBeauty Trend Bustle Article

KBeauty Trend Fusion Article

KBeauty Trend marie claire

KBeauty Trend Elle UK

With Love, Jessica 은주

DNA Testing and Plastic Surgery

I received an email back from Korea Social Services, Inc. and they gave me a couple forms to fill out, to begin the process of finding my (if any) family. I am going to do this today and send back right away (fingers crossed!). I also have a good friend who is from and lives in Korea (going forward, I am just going to say Korea... just know it is South I am referring to :D), and he has said that he would try and help me as well. I feel I may be lucky on this one because he is an important person over there, and I am sure I can move things along if he is on my side. (More on him in future posts!) That is where I am currently am with finding out if I have any biological family out there!

Another thought that has crossed my mind and I plan on doing, DNA testing. I know a couple people who have done this and it is very interesting, merely for the fact of finding out what your exactly made of. Am I 100% Korean? I have always been told I look a bit mixed. It may help if you have a photo of me to decide for yourself, so here are a couple! (Sorry, they are not professionally done!) The first one is of me at the orphanage, 4-5 years old. This is one out of only 2 photos I have of my life in Korea. The second one is a good 'selfie' I took when playing around :D (yes, I do take a lot of selfies and I am not ashamed of it!), and the third photo is of my husband and son, Statham, pronounced 'stay-thumb'. Where did we come up with this name? Good question: I was pregnant and watching a Jason Statham movie (love that guy) and decided that his last name would be a kick ass name. That is the simple truth!

I will post on my process for DNA testing, in case you may be wondering about it too! From my research, it costs around $100-$200 and I think I am going to go with Ancestry.com or 23andme.com

A hot topic in Korea that many Westerners (better term than non-Koreans) are curious about is...plastic surgery! I'll admit, I have thought about getting a little bit done to myself as well. The main one is Asian blepharoplasty, or double eyelid surgery. WHAT, you ask!?! Obviously this isn't a problem for non-Koreans :D. In Korea and other Asian countries, monolids are (sorry about the pun) viewed as 'not pretty'. Big eyes are very much idolized and I also fall victim to the longing of big, double eyelid eyes. I get it, don't change anything about myself... we are beautiful the way we are. Okay, okay, but it is just like you would want a skinnier body, or someone's nose, not being bald, or anything you feel to enhance what you deem as beautiful, etc... and it is so common in Korea that often, parents will save up to buy their children this surgery knowing it may help them be more successful with their future since it is idolized so much in Korea. Korea is very particular on standards of beauty. I know so many women that have gotten breast implants, but when I talk to them about blepharoplasty, they are shocked and say no way (a bit hypocritical if you ask me). I get it though, it is done on the face which is much riskier and scarier. Still, let us not judge one another of our wants and desires... it is not as though I am going to act on it... at least I don't think so, but I can't promise for sure and ultimately it is my choice. Other popular surgeries are chin reductions, rhinoplasty, hair transplants, and forehead augmentations (see photos below).

A few other notes about plastic surgery: Korea is ranked number one in plastic surgery and they are known for the best plastic surgeons. Many foreigners flock to Korea for plastic surgery. Koreans have a very 'loose' attitude about telling others what they think on their looks. It is almost comical that someone you may not even know may tell you that you are beautiful or that you need to lose weight or get some work done. Believe me, it is shocking too... but that is just the way this country is. (I'll focus on their respect culture next post to show you Korea is not as superficial as this post makes it seem!). Koreans have a very high standard for beauty and weight... you cannot be big in Korea, and by big... I mean probably what is considered a normal, healthy weight here in the US would be considered overweight in Korea. When I visited there in July of 2012, I was about 130 pounds (and I am 5'7'' so slender in US comparisons). However, trying on clothes... I was told I was 'too big' at one store in Itaewon... can you believe it! It didn't apply to just myself either. My husband couldn't find any clothes either (he is 6'1'' and ~190 pounds), nor any of the cool shoes they had (highest size they went up to was a 10). Hey, it is what it is. We don't have to agree with it. Many people across the world do not agree with some of US ways either... but keep an open mind. Every country has their uniqueness to them. I feel Korea has a deep respect culture that only other countries can wish they have (more on this later).

Here are some photos of plastic surgery from Korea. We saw posters everywhere... and I mean everywhere! Again, it is so common there that it is not viewed upon as a big deal at all. Prepare to be astounded by some of these transformations! (There was even a case I saw, not sure if it was in Korea or another Asian country, but a husband sued the wife for misleading him due to how much plastic surgery she had). Please feel free to post your thoughts (but please, no vulgarity!). Also, feel free to comment on future topics you would like to know about Korea or just in general. Until next time!

With love, Jessica (Eun Joo, 은주)

The Family Built

Here I go again! I am starting another blog and this time, I will keep up with it! I did fairly well in the beginning of www.southkoreadaughter.blogspot.com (about leading up to my visit back to South Korea and my orphanage)... however, I did fall off at the end. The trip was great... but very emotional and exhausting. I will absolutely go in further detail soon and I do plan on making my way back to South Korea again. In this blog, I want to share my personal goals and journeys that I am about to embark upon. This blog is to help me sort myself out as I have gone through major life changes in recent times including the passing of my adoptive mom (just mom for me), the birth of our first child, a boy, and me quitting my job to try and find something I am passionate about. So really, it is for me... you don't have to continue reading :D!

As many of you know, I am a South Korean adoptee from Seoul, South Korea. I came to the orphanage at age 4, arrived in the USA at age 5 and been blessed to have a great life thus far, with its' major ups and major downs of course. Please feel free to check out my other blog www.southkoreadaughter.blogspot.com, it provides more detail in my back story. Families come in all different ways: sizes, gender, ethnicity, formats, colors, shapes... I could go on. I think these pictures describe it the best :D!

Love doesn't care about any of this. Love should be all encompassing, and I am living proof that LOVE has no boundaries. I was brought up on two different kinds of love, the 'love' that had to let me go and the 'love' that was there to catch me. To say I am not curious about my past would be false. I am curious, and in fact, I am taking steps to search for any family I may have (more on this in future posts). BUT - it is not because I feel that I have this hole to fill... not at all. I am blessed. I was the lucky one that had my bucket topple over with love; all sorts of love. Love from my new mom, love from adults that considered me as their own, love from friends, love from co-workers, love from teachers... in fact, it is very hard to list all the people who have helped loved me and build my life. I got special treatment because of 'over-love'... is that a thing? :D Maybe explains why I can be a bit selfish and immature at times...oops!

It is simply because I am curious - what did my biological parents look like? How was my life in Korea from 0-5? Do I have any biological family and do they need help? Can I offer them love and help them financially, if they need it? That is the truth, I was loved so well that all I want to do is share it. I feel that I do live each day sharing love; being kind and happy, and trying to make people smile. I want to search for any biological family that I may have, to see if they need smiles and love too. My mom left a lasting impression upon me; be kind, be thoughtful and know that you are loved. Families are built; they are not made nor are they bought. They are not created in a test tube, or sealed by the signing of papers and exchanging of money, or by unprotected sex. Families mean a consistent showing of LOVE. Families mean their love will not waver, even when you kick and scream, and tell them you hate them or they are the worst people alive. Families mean they are going to be there for you, in your ups and downs. Families mean they will make you smile, drive you nuts, make you cry... but make you laugh afterwards. Perhaps my biological family weren't so lucky, and I could be their family, and the kind of love that they may be searching for too.

Stay tuned for updates on searching for my biological family, as well as my new career I will be taking on, and learning more about the Korean culture! Thanks for taking the time to read this, and hopefully you were entertained a little :D!

With love, Jessica (Eun Joo)